You know, this has been bothering me all week now. I have a friend that I taught with last year. She is making monthly payments to a debt consolidation company in order to "get out of debt". She and I were talking about getting together with the kids (she has 2 girls), and I said I would love to, but I would not be able to go out to lunch at this point. She knows our situation and what we are doing to get out of debt, but she feels sorry for me and felt bad about telling me about the fabulous beach vacation she has planned for July.
My friend chooses to allow an outside entity handle her debt. She has the money debited from her checking account each month, and she does not have to think about anything other than making sure she has that amount when they draft it. She has not changed any of her money habits, nor the way she thinks about money. She will often tell me that she is not allowed to have a credit card until she is done with these people. I fear that she has not really learned the lesson or changed the habits. As such, I fully expect her to fall back into debt within a fairly short period of becoming "debt free".
DONT' FEEL SORRY FOR US. The reason we are in debt is because we made poor choices. We were in the mindset of "have to have it now". We have seen the error of our ways and are working hard to correct them. But by no means do we want our friends to feel sorry for us.
I want people to know that the things Paul and I choose to do with our money are our CHOICE. We do not HAVE to put all of our "extra" money toward our debt, we CHOOSE to do so in order to be debt free fast. We could have gone to New Jersey recently, because we could have saved money to do so. However, it would have put us several months behind on our debt freedom plan to do so. Paul and I both felt that this was not in our best interest at this time. Unfortunately, that decision made some people unhappy. Know that it was our choice for our family.
In the three months that we have been actively getting out of debt, we have managed to reduce our debt by almost $20,000. We have sold some things that we realistically could not afford, we have reduced spending, we have been living on a budget and paying cash for everyday purchases, and we have put every extra penny towards our debt. And we feel great about this!!!!! On Wednesday, we put our final credit card payment in the mail!! We are down to 2 debts, and we feel great! By October (at the latest), we will only have Sallie Mae left to repay.
We are working hard and "living like no other" in order to be able to "live like no other" in the future!!!
5 comments:
You are doing great!
Maybe it's just my imagination, too, but I felt like there were obvious changes in your family dynamics because of this, too. Just me? Or reality?
I'm perfectly happy for you and find your decision to be a great one. I'm not upset in the least that you weren't able to come up while Jennie was here. It would have been way cool to have all of us together, as well as all of the cousins, but hey, if it wasn't in the plan, that's fine.
Love you and hope things keep looking up for you!
We are definitely less stressed out about money, and it has an impact on our relationship as well. The kids are also "in the loop" with everything we do. We talk about money and the decisions we make with them. They are aware of who we owe, why we were in debt in the first place, and why we are choosing to end that way of life. The really great thing is that neither one of them ever wants to be in debt. They have become as much of a Dave Ramsey convert as we have! Mandy's solution, however, is to marry a rich man!
We talk to the kids all the time about money matters so they don't get into the same hole we did. Here's hoping it sticks! That's one of the big reasons we give them an allowance, too, so that they can learn in a hands on way how to manage money.
As far as the debt consolidation thing, I agree with your assessment because I used one of those services, too. :-) It was good in a way because it lowered a lot of the interest rates, but without the concrete, check writing, envelope stamping, bill paying, it didn't have much impact. I just used the other non-consolidated credit cards. :-)
I definitely see a disconnect between debt consolidation and how you feel about credit and debt. It is a fast fix to the problem, but doesn't change the behavior:)
Love you!
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