As you know, I have the pleasure of teaching 4th grade at the same school my children attend. This is truly a blessing for our family, as it allows me to see them on a regular basis throughout the day, as well as earn a living at the same time. Our family has benefited immensely from this arrangement.
You know, when I went back to school to get my degree, I felt only slightly guilty at putting Mandy and Andrew in daycare. We had already moved back to South Carolina, and had no family nearby to help us out. Since they did not go for a long time while I was in class, and they were meeting new people and having a great time, I was comfortable with the arrangement.
Now, that is not to say that daycare is all fun all the time. You really have to be on top of everything and ask your children questions. One day, for example, Mandy told me her teacher hit her in the back. When the director questioned the Mandy, she repeated the story. But the teacher was not fired. As a result, we moved daycares and I never tell anyone anything nice about the Sunshine House daycare. I was really disappointed in the way they handled that situation.
That being said, we had a great daycare after that. They were expensive, but worth the peace of mind. It is great to have a safe place to send your children. They had some nice safety features in place, as well, such as video cameras in every room.
I am extremely grateful that we do not pay for daycare any longer, but I do not regret my decision to return to school. The options that has opened for our family far outweigh any perceived negatives from daycare. Mandy and Andrew are well adjusted children who know they are loved more than anything in this world.
I know that I seem very different from the rest of the family at times. But I think we will find that we actually have a lot in common. For instance, Beckie works part time at night when Miguel can watch Angie. Paul and I did this for many years, with me working part time around his schedule. This is a great way to earn extra money without using daycare.
I look forward to getting to know you all a little better through this blog as well.
Love to all.
3 comments:
All's quiet, so I'm going to say what I have to say. :-)
This, I'm afraid, is not a common point with any of us. Daycare is never a good option for young children, no matter how "good" the center or the provider. I'm not knocking the decisions you made. We all do what we think is best at the time, whether it actually is best or not. Time often shows us our mistakes, and hopefully, we learn from them, without trying to justify or make excuses.
You made what I would call a good choice. But in the process of choosing the good, you gave up the better. You chose worldly "success" over your kids. I know you don't see it like that, but I do, and I'm not telling you anything you don't know. The right decision is seldom the easy one, and there are certain sacrifices that must be made in order to raise children. You didn't make those sacrifices. You put the things money can buy before the greater good of loving your children. Not emotional love - I'm sure you feel great love for them - but the living, active, doing love that puts the good of another far above the good of one's self. You chose other people's children and a paycheck. Although teaching is a noble career, it would have been much better if you'd waited until Mandy was older.
Mandy has spent almost her entire life in some kind of daycare. She was just a baby when you went back to school. It didn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. When daycare becomes the only reasonable option, which I think it seldom does, it is very possible for parents to minimize the negative effects. In Mandy's case, though, I don't think that was done. When you have a child in daycare, every moment you spend together has to be used to the child's benefit, and that's a level of selflessness few people are able to rise to. And I don't think you have been one of those few. It shows too much in your children. Parenting is not a mere matter of occupying children. It is a constant, hands on, down and dirty teaching, guiding and molding of little children, a task for which a daycare is vastly inferior.
I think you dropped the ball. I always have. And you've always known that. And I don't think I'm alone.
I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings, Jess, but you've opened the discussion here and hopefully we can all learn something from it.
I have to agree with Jennie that Mandy was far too young for the decisions you made. While it would have been more difficult for you and Paul, I think the better choice would have been to wait until Mandy was in Kindergarten and take classes while she and Andrew were in school anyway.
Sam and I are currently working on building our own business from scratch. It's a lot of work and I sometimes second guess our decision because there are days when we are swamped with work and it's difficult to keep up with the babies too. But they come first. And we have the added benefit of working from home so that we can be with them all day.
I know that my children will live their lives by the example Sam and I give them. I hope to show them through our choices that they are more important than anything. They are loved and valued. This is not something that can be taught by telling them it is so. It must be shown every day, every hour, every moment. I can't help but wonder what your children have learned and will learn from your choices. And it is because we love you that we are concerned about these things. Please don't forget that.
I would like to know what daycare you ended up after you left the sunshine house? I am not certain this was in the Charlotte area, as my wife and I are thinking about moving to this area, and we are trying to find a daycare or a school that has a toodler program for the Charlotte_North Carolina area. Please if you know of one, please send it along to us! Thank you!
mario_valentino@hotmail.com
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